He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
