Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
