3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think a kid would responsible me up
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How does it feel to date your dad?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
