I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
