You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
