You work out of a Hotel?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
