so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just gift wrapped bread.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
