Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
