She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
