She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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