just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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