It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
