whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
