M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
