I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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