So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
