Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
