I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
