I just made out with a guy for $7.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
