white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
