White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
