we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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