I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
