the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
