I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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