i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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