Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
