we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The air taste purple.
Randomize
