I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
