New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
