i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
