But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
