Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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