If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
