Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
