She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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