what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You're like the curious george of whores
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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