I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
