Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
