I heard we made out
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So. Much. Porn.
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