I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
