I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
