I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
