No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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