i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
