You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Couch. On fire.
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