shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
