i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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