'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
