i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
